When Your Spouse Threatens Divorce

Some couples fight unfairly. They may engage in techniques such as the silent treatment. They may bottle up their feelings and refuse to talk about their problems, making matters worse. Others say mean things, call the other person names, and even threaten divorce.

Threatening divorce is a serious issue. When your spouse threatens divorce when you argue, do not ignore it. Obviously something is not right with your marriage. Your marriage is at risk and something needs to be fixed if you want to stay in this relationship. If you have a happy marriage, your spouse would not even consider divorce.

Even if your spouse does not mean it, threatening divorce can derail your marriage. A lot of people use the word “divorce” because they have insecurities. However, this act often results in self-sabotage. What this means is that you are intentionally destroying the marriage and may not even know it.

In many cases, though, people use the “D” word to create some movement in the relationship. Perhaps they feel stuck and they want the other partner to make a move. They want to get the other person’s attention and they are manipulating their spouse to make a decision: do they want to stay married or would they rather divorce?

Sometimes people use the word “divorce” to show how hopeless they feel. They may have tried many times to communicate with their spouse about how they feel, but nothing ever changes. They feel so frustrated; it’s like talking to a wall.

You feel hurt and unloved. You relied on your spouse to help you feel safe and they let you down, so you now feel angry. You feel vulnerable. You feel unworthy of love. So what happens next?

How to Respond

When your spouse threatens divorce, what should be your next steps? Here are some things you need to do:

  • Have a discussion. Talk to your spouse about why he or she is threatening divorce. Explain why the threats hurt you and find out whether or not the threats are serious. Try to get a feel for what is happening in your relationship.
  • Work on the relationship. Ask your spouse if they want to work things out. A marriage counselor can help you work out your problems.
  • See an attorney. If your spouse doesn’t want to work on the marriage, then it’s time to see a lawyer. A lawyer can help you understand your options and legal rights. You can also prepare for a divorce if that’s what you ultimately decide.
Contact a Maryland Family Law Attorney Today

A threat of divorce should be taken seriously. If your spouse is using the “D” word, communicate with them about it and try to help your marriage.

There’s only so much you can do, though. If you cannot save your marriage, start the divorce process with help from the Columbia divorce lawyers at The Law Offices of Todd K. Mohink, P.A. To schedule a consultation, fill out the online form or call (410) 774-5987. We have two offices to serve you.



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