Most people eventually date again after a divorce, but what about during a divorce? Divorces can be quite messy and there are a lot of complexities involved. Should you be making matters worse by dating during this time?
Experts say no. They believe you should wait until the divorce is finalized before dipping your feet into the dating pool again. After all, if your soon-to-be ex-spouse finds out you’re already dating, you can bet that things can get even more contentious.
However, some divorces are nasty and can last years. Who wants to wait that long to find love again? If you’ve been in a loveless, miserable marriage for a long time, you may be ready to move on after your first meeting with your divorce lawyer. But that does not necessarily mean you should. Here are some things to keep in mind if you’re considering starting a new romance while you’re still negotiating your divorce settlement.
Be aware that you are technically still married until a judge grants you a divorce. Therefore, if you become romantically involved with someone during your divorce, you are committing adultery. Adultery can impact various aspects of a divorce, such as property division, child custody, property division and alimony. Alimony is off the table once you move in with someone else, so if your ex-spouse catches wind of your new romance, you can kiss spousal support goodbye.
If kids are involved, moving on so soon after a divorce can affect them emotionally. Divorces take up a lot of time, and you probably have a full-time job as well. You need to be paying more attention to your kids during the divorce process. They are grieving as well. Your kids are having to deal with their parents splitting up, which means a lot of changes for them. They are having to divorce their time between two separate houses now. This is a big adjustment, so you need to be there for them, not looking for a replacement parent for them.
A new romance can make you feel good for a while. However, dating so soon comes with its caveats. Ideally, you should take time to discover yourself and figure out what you do want in a relationship. If you jump into a new romance so soon, you’ll likely make the same mistakes you did in your marriage.
Also, you need to be secretive about your relationship. Don’t flaunt it on social media. Don’t lie to your dates about your marital status. You don’t have to divulge too many details, but be honest. Have fun, but keep expectations low.
Dating before a divorce is finalized can be tricky. It is possible that seeing someone new before the ink is dry on your divorce decree can impact your divorce in several ways.
However, divorces can sometimes last several years, and you may not want to wait that long to find romance again. Whatever your situation, you need solid legal advice from the Columbia divorce attorneys at the Law Offices of Todd K. Mohink, P.A. To schedule a free consultation, fill out the online form or call (410) 774-5987. We have two offices to serve you.
7310 Ritchie Highway, Suite 910
Glen Burnie, MD 21061
30 Corporate Center
10440 Little Patuxent Parkway,
Columbia, MD 21044