You meet the love of your life. You tell him you want two kids someday. He agrees. You get married and discuss the prospect of having children soon. He changes the subject. They finally have an open and honest discussion, and the husband admits that he enjoys being childless and has changed his mind.
So what happens now? You married someone with the goal of having children with them in the near future and now they change their mind. You have always wanted children and you don’t want to wait for your spouse to change their mind. What options are there besides divorce?
This is a hard decision to make. Having children is a major decision that needs to be discussed by romantic partners who feel a commitment is in their future. It’s easy to leave a person you’re dating because they don’t want kids. But what happens when you’re married to them now? Is a misalignment in parenting goals a reason for divorce?
It can be. Nobody wants to have regrets in life, and some people will regret not having kids. Conversely, some regret having them. In any case, if you truly want children, you must decide if your desire for kids is greater than your desire for the relationship. What will you sacrifice: children or your spouse?
Communication is key in a relationship. Some people change their minds about having children, so this is an issue that you may want to revisit often. You may want to keep asking your partner how they feel about children, especially if you want them.
Even if you both are in agreement about wanting or not wanting kids at the time you’re married, keep in mind that feelings change. People mature. It’s possible that your partner may decide he or she wants children. Would you be able to change your mind? Conversely, a person who thought they wanted kids may see how their friends struggle with raising children and decide they don’t want any after all.
If one person desperately wants children and the other is adamant about being childfree, unfortunately there is no way to compromise. There is no way to reach a middle ground. One person would have to radically change their mind and that could lead to regret and resentment down the road. The only viable option would be to end the marriage.
The decision of whether or not to have a child is something that should be discussed before marriage and something that both parties should agree upon. This is a major decision, so if there is any difference in opinion, it can cause the relationship to crumble.
No matter why you are divorcing, the Columbia divorce lawyers at the Law Offices of Todd K. Mohink, P.A. can help. Our team can help facilitate a quick settlement so you can move on with your life and find someone who is in line with your parenthood goals. Schedule a consultation today. Call (410) 774-5987 or fill out the online form. We have two offices to serve you.
7310 Ritchie Highway, Suite 910
Glen Burnie, MD 21061
30 Corporate Center
10440 Little Patuxent Parkway,
Columbia, MD 21044