During the first year or so of marriage, you were probably blissfully in love, unaware of the little things that would later annoy you. Years later, you may be tired of your spouse’s antics. These little annoyances are driving you nuts every day, making you crazy. You may be so fed up that you’re ready to divorce.
You’re tired of the messes. It makes you mad when your spouse ignores you. He or she never does the chores, leaving you to take care of everything. He or she never finishes a project, leaving cans of paint everywhere. You feel like your spouse is just another kid.
How can you end these annoying habits and get resolution so you feel better about your marriage? Here are some ways to address these problems.
Assume that your spouse is doing their best. One’s upbringing and temperament can affect their character, so take this into consideration. Look at things from their perspective. Lower your standards and try to accept your partner, imperfections and all. They’re not perfect, and you’re not either.
If you’re unhappy with your partner, discuss the situation with them, but do it at the right time. Try to be neutral and allow your spouse to describe things from their perspective. Understand what your spouse is saying and make them feel like you are listening to them. They will be more likely to make changes if they know you’re not being accusatory.
The needs of both spouses are important and need to be addressed when coming up with a solution. Avoid being judgmental when discussing what you need from your partner. Don’t place blame on your partner, but do voice your concerns.
Once you discuss your needs, you can find a solution that fits both your needs. You could start by coming up with a solution or allow your spouse to do so. The solution needs to address both parties’ concerns. You should feel more connected by coming up with a good solution, rather than hurt by the other person’s actions.
Coming up with a solution to a problem is not a one-time thing. You will likely encounter many problems in your marriage, so make time to resolve them. Find a good time when you are both relaxed and not rushed. Then work on solving the problem together. Don’t try to rush things or agree on one-sided solutions. The problem will never get solved and you’ll be running around in circles.
Annoying habits can cause stress and frustration to build up, damaging marriages. It’s best to discuss your frustrations with your partner. Otherwise, divorce could be on the horizon.
The Columbia divorce lawyers at the Law Offices of Todd K. Mohink, P.A. can help you understand your options. Seek legal help today by scheduling a consultation. Call (410) 774-5987 or fill out the online form. We have two offices to serve you.
Resource:
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