It’s no surprise that one of the main causes of divorce is infidelity. There’s an unspoken rule in every marriage that the parties are to remain faithful to each other throughout the marriage. One spouse is not allowed to have sex with anyone else—unless, of course, you have an open marriage and you are both OK with having multiple sexual partners.
For the most part, monogamy is very important in a marriage, and to find out that your spouse has been having sex with someone else can be devastating. For many people, cheating is the ultimate betrayal. And as the saying goes, once a cheater, always a cheater. Even if your spouse says it won’t happen again, can you trust him or her? Isn’t it likely that it will happen again?
This is not always the case. Even happily married people can commit adultery. In these cases, it’s because the opportunity presents itself, and not necessarily because they are having marital problems. Studies show that infidelity causing divorce is a bit exaggerated. When a couple chooses to divorce, it is typically because they fall out of love or stop communicating with each other. While there is a correlation between infidelity and divorce, this correlation doesn’t equal causation. In couples under the age of 50, the reasons given for divorce were a poor sex life and constant fighting. Cheating was not the main issue.
Couples may not break up when one spouse has sex with another person. However, when that sexual contact develops into love and feelings of intimacy for the other person, then that’s when there’s a problem. However, the spurned spouse will often cite infidelity as the cause of a divorce, even though the spouse who cheated knows that there were problems in the marriage before the cheating happened.
Once the infidelity occurs, can the marriage be saved? It can, and in many cases, the couples actually do stay together. However, the first few months after finding out can be the most challenging for couples, as they make a decision about the future of their marriage. The spouse who cheated feels constantly ashamed, while the spurned spouse may want to know all the details and figure out if they should stay or if they should go. In any case, couples therapy is a must, especially if the couple wants to try to work things out.
Not all cases of infidelity lead to divorce court. Some couples are able to discuss the issues that led to the cheating and can move on, in some cases even making their marriage stronger than it was before. However, more often than not, couples divorce. Many couples split after one or both partners have been caught cheating because it’s hard to trust someone after such a transgression.
If you are having trouble moving on after your spouse’s infidelity, the Columbia divorce attorneys at the Law Offices of Todd K. Mohink, P.A. can help you with the divorce process. We have two offices to serve you. Schedule a free consultation today by filling out the online form or calling (410) 774-5987.
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Glen Burnie, MD 21061
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10440 Little Patuxent Parkway,
Columbia, MD 21044