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Overcoming Guilt After Divorce


Nobody wants to get divorced and when they do, it can be a hard situation to get over. There are many emotions to overcome and one of them is guilt. While you may be aware of those who are angry, sad, depressed, or even relieved to be done with their marriage, guilt is not something that’s talked about often.

Guilt, however, can be very powerful and a hard emotion to shake. There are several main reasons why a person would feel guilty after a divorce. One of them is the guilt over broken vows. You vowed to stay married until death do you part, but your marriage didn’t last that long.

Also, a divorce is seen as a failed marriage, so you may be seen as a failure for not making your marriage work. You just didn’t do enough or work hard enough, and that can make a person feel guilty.

Many people also feel guilty when there are kids involved. We want to protect our children from harm and sometimes divorce can hurt them emotionally. That’s why many parents delay divorce until their children are adults.

How to Manage Guilt

You can’t wallow in guilt forever. Know that your marriage is not the only one to end. Nearly half of all marriages end in divorce, so you’re in good company. But how can you reduce the guilt you feel so you can effectively move on? Here are some ways.

  • Write it down. Jotting down your feelings can be cathartic. This can be a good outlet for expressing your emotions, especially if you tend to keep things bottled up.
  • Be honest with your feelings. If you have kids, tell them you’re sorry about the pain you’re causing them. You could say the same to your spouse as well if it will make you feel better about your decision. However, do not imply that you’re sorry for the split, because a divorce, while difficult, was the right decision on your part.
  • Fight it. When guilt tries to overcome you, don’t give in. Have purpose in your life. Remind yourself that everyone makes mistakes and sometimes they are necessary for growth. Remember to love yourself and think positively about the situation.
  • Talk to someone. It’s a good idea to have a support group to help you through the divorce process. If you are feeling bad about yourself, call on a friend or loved one to help you talk things out and listen to you. Having someone on your side can make things easier. 

Contact a Maryland Family Law Attorney Today

While many people feel angry, revengeful, or even relieved after a divorce, not many people talk about the guilt they feel. It’s a powerful emotion that can really take over and make it difficult to live life on a daily basis.

Stop feeling like a failure and contact the Columbia divorce lawyers at The Law Offices of Todd K. Mohink, P.A. We can help you manage your emotions and guide you through the divorce process. To schedule a consultation,  fill out the online form or call (410) 774-5987. We have two offices to serve you.


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