Are you considering marriage in the near future? If so, what are your expectations? Do you expect your husband to work so you can be a housewife? Do you expect your wife to cook, clean, take care of the kids and work outside of the home?
Expectations can be good in a marriage. They help define roles and routines. However, some people have unrealistic expectations going into a marriage. They want their spouse to meet every little desire.
As we stay married longer, we tend to develop more and more expectations. This is because the infatuation we felt in the early stages of the relationship is gone. That chemical high was once enough to keep us happy. As time goes on, it takes more and more to keep a person happy. This can lead to frustration, anger and even divorce.
This is not how a marriage should work. While you and your spouse should have some expectations for each other, you both need to be on the same page. Here are some things to keep in mind.
Your wife probably won’t be able to take care of all the cooking, cleaning and child care on their own, but she may be able to spend more time with you if you help out more. It’s OK to have hopes and dreams, but keep in mind that your partner won’t be able to fulfill them all. Be realistic, not resentful.
It’s not up to your spouse to make you happy. If you want to achieve something, see what you can do on your own. If you want more money, then get a job. If you want your wife to be more intimate with you, then schedule dates together. Make the effort, then your spouse will likely do the same.
No two marriages are the same. While your friends’ or family members’ marriages may seem ideal, remember that nobody is perfect. Every marriage has its struggles. There will always be highs and lows. Accept them and focus on your marriage only.
Not all men are handy around the house. Not all women want to cook and clean the house. In your marriage, the wife may be the breadwinner. Things have changed since your parents and grandparents got married. When thinking about what you expect of each other, consider your spouse’s skills and interests, not cultural stereotypes.
Marriage will not allow you to fulfill all your hopes and dreams. Your spouse is not perfect and cannot give you everything you need. You either need to accept that or move on.
Having numerous or unreasonable expectations can kill a marriage. The Columbia divorce lawyers at the Law Offices of Todd K. Mohink, P.A. can help end your marriage if you’re not getting what you need in your relationship. To schedule a free consultation, fill out the online form or call (410) 774-5987. We have two offices to serve you.
7310 Ritchie Highway, Suite 910
Glen Burnie, MD 21061
30 Corporate Center
10440 Little Patuxent Parkway,
Columbia, MD 21044