Do you feel as though you’re just a visitor in your kids’ lives? This is often the case with a divorced parent who has visitation instead of primary custody. One father said that he tried to make sure that any time his daughters spent with him was chock-full of fun activities. While he said he stopped short of being the “Disneyland Dad,” he did remind himself that his kids needed something more from their dad than just having fun.
He started sharing himself — that is, he told the girls how he wanted to be a writer and what a disappointment it was when he got rejection letters for the first few articles he submitted. He told them how some of his hopes and dreams hat to be put on hold while he went about earning a living. He also tried to become a role model to his daughters. The father wanted them to see that he took care of problems and didn’t run away from them. The man wanted his girls to set high standards in what they will accept in terms of how they are treated. However, he also wanted his girls to give and not always take.
The man said that when he talked to other fathers about feeling like he was a visitor in his kids’ lives, he found out that many fathers in similar situations feel that way. He found, though, that many of those same fathers simply continued to provide for their kids, but they didn’t share themselves with their kids.
The takeaway from this is to make sure that your children get to know you — your hopes and dreams, challenges that you have faced and much more. This is one of the best ways to make the most of the time spent with your children.
In some cases, you may need to return to court for a custody modification or a modification in child support. Your divorce attorney can provide more information on how such modifications work.
Source: Huffington Post, “How To Deal When You Feel Like Just A Visitor In Your Child’s Life,” Elliott Katz, March 16, 2016
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