Marriages are supposed to last forever. That’s what the vows say, anyway. They aren’t supposed to end in divorce. But roughly half of them do, and sometimes it’s not a surprise. People close to the couple may have seen it coming.
Every marriage has issues. Sometimes they come about before the couple even walks down the aisle, but they’re ignored because the bride and groom are so in love. But if a couple identifies a problem soon enough, can they work on it before it’s too late?
Maybe. There are two types of problems that exist in a marriage. There are those that are present from the beginning and there are those that evolve over time. There are many issues that can lead to divorce but the most common ones are infidelity, substance abuse, constant conflict, lack of commitment, incompatibility, and growing apart.
Research shows that many marriages have red flags early on and wives are more likely than husbands to see these flags. Wives typically saw problems that led to divorce, while husbands tended to be less perceptive to problems in a more general sense. This means that wives are better at predicting relationship problems. Wives were also seen as more sensitive to relationship problems than husbands, making them more likely to notice problems worsen over time. Research also found that communication problems, lack of trust, and infidelity were the most common causes of divorce.
To further illustrate this point, husbands perceived a problem at the beginning of the marriage that contributed to their divorce in just 1 of 13 instances. In contrast, wives perceived these problems in 7 of 13 instances. This research shows that spouses monitor their relationships differently. Women were much more likely to see relational problems and hone in on the ones that lead to divorce.
So what happens now? Once red flags are identified, couples need to be proactive to turn them into green lights. They should concentrate on resolving problems identified by the wife to prevent divorce. It also goes without saying that communication is essential for anyone who is married. Communication is a two-way street. If one person is doing all the talking, then the marriage is likely doomed.
In the end, it does not matter who spots the problems in the marriage. Even if the husband does so, the couple’s goal should be to work through the problems before they threaten the marriage.
Sometimes there are red flags in a relationship. When and why they happen can predict success in marriage. If you can identify them before you walk down the aisle, then you probably shouldn’t get married.
If you didn’t predict a future divorce, a Columbia divorce lawyer from The Law Offices of Todd K. Mohink, P.A. can help you end your marriage without too much drama. We’ll fight for your financial and legal rights. Get started with a free consultation. Fill out the online form or call (410) 774-5987.
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