Many couples erroneously believe that having a baby will strengthen and resolve their marital issues. While having a baby can be an exciting time for new parents, it’s also one fraught with pressure, even more responsibility and sleepless nights. As a result, couples end up even more stressed out than before. If there were issues in the marriage before, a new baby can certainly magnify them. This can cause couples to fight, give each other the silent treatment or even threaten divorce.
A new baby can lead to a new set of problems. Almost all new parents experience some issues with their partner postpartum. The good news is that there are ways to get through these problems without having to end your marriage—which is something you should avoid with a newborn, as it would only cause more stress on top of everything else. Here are some common issues you can expect and how to resolve them so you and your spouse can enjoy your new bundle of joy together.
It is not uncommon for a new mother to have to juggle it all—feedings, diaper changes, doctor appointments, running errands and sleepless nights—with little or no help from their partner. This is especially true if Mom is breastfeeding.
Taking care of a baby is a lot of responsibility. If your partner isn’t helping out like they should, be sure to let them know your expectations. Do not blame or criticize them, but make sure they understand what you are going through and see how you two can compromise.
Babies are not known for being good sleepers. They sleep for several-hour stretches and may be up multiple times a night. This can be exhausting for a parent who was already up with the baby all day tending to its needs. If your partner is sleeping all night, and you’re up most of the night, there is bound to be some resentment.
Talk to your partner before this resentment turns to anger. Find a compromise. Maybe your partner can be in charge of the baby on weekends while you rest.
When baby makes three, your relationship can take a hit. The focus is on the baby, and there are just not enough hours in the day to focus on your marriage as well. Sex may be a thing of the past. The trick is to schedule time with your partner. Go on a dinner date. See a movie. Attend a concert. Don’t be afraid to get away for a few hours and leave the baby with a trusted family member or friend.
A new baby means new responsibilities. If your marriage is suffering, communication is important. Discussing your problems with your spouse is a good first step. If things don’t change, however, and your marriage continues to struggle, it may be better to move on.
The Columbia divorce lawyers at the Law Offices of Todd K. Mohink, P.A. can help relieve the stress you feel from your marriage. We can advise you of the laws involved and your options for divorce. We have two offices to serve you. Schedule a free consultation by calling (410) 774-5987 or filling out the online form.
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