Sometimes long-term relationships end. However, we don’t always know when the time will come. Maybe we’re not communicating as much. Perhaps there have been more arguments.
Researchers say there is one way in which you can tell that a divorce is coming. It has to do with communication. It’s about the words you use when discussing your marriage.
We’re talking about the words “I” and “we.” Have you been using these words more? If so, your relationship may be at risk. Read on to learn more about the relationships between these two words.
The results of a recent research project shows that three months before a couple’s breakup, they began to speak differently. For example, they became more personal and informal. They also tended to use different pronouns such as “I” and “we.” They also tend to use more self-focused words such as “me” and “mine.” When a person speaks in this manner when discussing relationship decisions, it’s likely a sign that you’re ready to end things.
Both the person initiating the divorce and the one being dumped tended to display these changes in speech patterns. These changes in speech patterns show that someone is doing a lot of thinking. They’re working through huge problems and are becoming more self-focused. In some cases, using the word ”I” is correlated with sadness and depression, since people tend to focus on themselves when they are depressed.
Also, in those who spend a lot of time thinking about an impending divorce, the changes tend to happen naturally as they speak. Many people start to disengage from their partner weeks before they actually end the relationship. Ending the marriage is not usually a rash decision that happens suddenly without prior planning.
The changes in speech patterns tended to peak on the day of the divorce before diminishing over a period of six months. The amount of research done on speech patterns may be surprising to many of us, since we don’t really notice how often we use prepositions, articles, or pronouns. However, these words get altered when you’re going through personal drama such as a divorce. The way your speech changes says a lot about your psychological and emotional state.
Researchers also found that the verbiage people used online changed when they were going through major emotional upheavals. However, the changes were more subtle than those going through divorces. Overall, shifts in pronouns and other words can reveal how a person is doing emotionally and psychologically.
We may not recognize it, but the way we say things can change when a breakup is coming. If you or your partner are speaking like this, it’s a red flag you need to be aware of.
What happens next? How do you proceed? As a first step, contact the Columbia divorce lawyers at the Law Offices of Todd K. Mohink, P.A. We’ll help you with the legal and emotional components. Call (410) 774-5987 or fill out the online form to schedule a consultation. We have two offices to serve you.
7310 Ritchie Highway, Suite 910
Glen Burnie, MD 21061
30 Corporate Center
10440 Little Patuxent Parkway,
Columbia, MD 21044